Wednesday 16 May 2012

Is HE for real ?

The travails of [aloofness] follow me everywhere I go.  Is this world for real ? I search for him everywhere and can't find him.  Is HE for real ? I mean does this guy even know what he means to me, he vanishes at the drop of a pin, says that I affect him in ways that keep him disturbed for days.  I can't help it if I love him so much or can I ?  My life, well it has been an ordeal with [death] for as long as I know.  From the day I was born I have struggled to keep afloat me and my family - a bunch of derelicts who can't take care of themselves forget about me, my father had to be taken care of the last couple of years of his life, he passed away when my life was just budding to aspire.  He breathed his last and I have died a million deaths since then.  When I was young he was the one person who took care of my needs, emotional and financial, I looked up to him like a follower of some saintly peer.  I have always loved him and still miss him a lot.  I have not been well eversince, some affliction or the other has bothered me for the past 5 years.  Its painful and draining.  God ! why is HE doing this to me now ?

[Death] is the cause of all relationships going sour.  I was unemployed in 2003 when I jumped the twin towers of [RP-II], needed to feel strong, need to know that there was something in me that I could admire and love.  It did work, I became strong and grew stronger, my dependence on medicine became less and less.  My darling daughter helped, she was the only one who could keep this volatile man calm and peaceful.  She found it in herself to reserve a special space in her heart that no one ever could trample upon, and when I say no one I mean no one.  The space distinctly said .. KEEP OUT, NO TRESPASSING !!!! God helps those who help themselves and ofcourse have a few people who help them.  I moved on to start a computer sales and repair business, which didn't do too well but it kept me busy for 3 years, running an office and a house.  The office space was owned by my father, but there were people staying in the house of two stories above.  I would dive into the basement where my office was, sit in my cabin trying out different equipment and networking fundamentals that I had only read about till then.  I wanted to do MCSE and CISCO which I did later on.  But I was here to sell computers, laptops and printers and provide a service outlet for the products I sold.  Experimented with everything during this time, I had time and the inclination till I realised why fate had pushed me to this business, but thats another story, of BPOs and the economy of the country.

In any case, as I would get up every morning and reach my workplace I hired two guys, one a local handyman and the other a marketing person.  I still remember the day the marketing executive arranged a meeting between me and a gentleman from Toshiba who wanted to sell his laptops through my agency.  Basvaraj was hired and trained by me, he would look upto me as his mentor, a sharp brain as you would expect of a marketing man however you always do not get what you expect.  The Toshiba guy arrived with a few demo laptop machines and our meeting went on for an hour before Basvaraj pointed out that unless he left his laptops with us to show to our clients we weren't in a position to solve his problems.  I don't know what prompted the Toshiba guy to actually leave his two laptops with us, we were total strangers but he trusted us.  Our life changed after that, we would run to every client of ours with the laptops giving demos and arranging business meetings.  Toshiba did a huge amount of business through us.  Changed us and I think changed them too to an extent. That was Basvaraj, a keen sense and intuitiveness surrounded his every action.   Oh yes, and there was another guy who was a contractor with me, Rajesh, a young guy with a bike who would run everyday to the press of the buttons on my mobile.  Hardwork had got him to where he had a bought a bike with his own money or was it a bajaj scooter, my memory fades here, but I do remember Akaash as well.  Akaash was part of my sourcing team, he was employed with a showroom but sub-contracted with me whenever it suited him, selling me stuff from his showroom.  We sold atleast 10 machines that first month through him, a strong handsome guy who wore spectacles around his ears almost signifying the only weakness on his manly well built frame.  Akaash had a very strong sense of business and was a crook at heart.  He knew how to manipulate people, and therefore stood out as very different from the 6-7 other people I was employing at that time.  As time passed I grew to dislike Akaash for his cunningness and guile.  Trickery followed each deal with him now.  Once when I sold large quantity of memory sticks to the French Consulate, Akaash sold me a dummy and almost ruined the deal.  That was my first lesson, that in business there is us and them.  To be a part of us means to relate on all crucial aspects called as values.  Otherwise it meant letting lose a serpent into a paradise.  An inside job as you would say.  Business is in my blood now.
Well nothing ventured nothing gained.

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