The Alternate Energy Cookbook

Somethings happening again.  My mind is unable to fathom whats going on, at least for right now, but I can feel something cooking up again.  The thoughts are flowing freely and my eyes brim over at the thought of someone.  I had stopped it from happening, but its happening again, I am thinking and thinking of that someone who I can't speak to.  There is someone in my life that I will probably never get to speak to again, someone really important to me, somebody who will never wish ill no matter what goes on.  But its happening again, and how I wish that the prophetic statement that I just made is wrong, can't somebody just come into my life and tell me that what I am thinking, of people not being to speak to each other, or otherwise is all wrong.  I can sense it, somebody wants to call me and is holding back.

Takes me back to re-grieving that I spoke about in my last post.  Some of us and this implies people who read this post, I know are absolute dreamers, and I wish them well, because without these dreams we got nothing, and I promise them they are not the only ones.  I dream of the future and I dream of days that have gone by. I have seen people who re-grieve, they push everyone away, even their best friends and that is the way of re-grieving, to be angry at the ones who have gone away and to be angry at our closest ones.  And these closest ones have to understand that they are not being isolated, that they are just being punished for being close to this person in re-grieving.

Things change and over a period of time, life will get better, you may or may not talk again but at least you know that you tried to make a difference.  Probably what  this life brings us to.
Shit happens everywhere, its alright, it just happened with you this once.