Sunday 28 October 2012

Did this really happen ?

Walked into this bar and found a million of thoughts hovering in my mind, I was on the run, had been for a while, in self proclaimed hiding.  My mind was going about what I had just heard, that there was this friend of mine who had died, there was noise but I didn't hear it, there were people but I ignored them, not deliberately but by default.  Where was all this going to lead up to, Pravesh had lost a son recently, Vipul his father, Anne's father had undergone a bypass and amongst others my mom was undergoing the worst torture of her life, a broken shoulder, bloated knees and a host of diseases that sound terrible.  There was only loneliness and despair around me.  My thoughts were mirroring exactly how these people felt.

I saw his son dance to music in the bar and got my thoughts back correct, just an insurance guy trying to drown his sorrows.  I saw myself as Satan in their lives, today whatever I touched crumbled and fell away, withered away, lost like the autumn leaves that fell down from the trees to be swept away in the morning.  Do autumn leaves turn golden brown in your location, I have seen it happen, especially when the sun goes down, there is smell of decay, switch on the heating please, it gets real lonely.  I need somebody to love, winters are almost upon, my life is like a piece of driftwood on a long stretch of the Brahmaputra, I hear his voice call out to me, beseeching me to come back and I am just losing my mind.  The voices get stronger with each moment, the shrill shrieks, the loud chatter and soft murmurs, all are as loud as the blaring music I hear riding my bicycle around the circuitous path.  Me ride a bicycle, yes man, that is the calling today, peace, brother just me and my thoughts going wild.
Living On My Own, a far out thought, and a distinct possibility.

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